Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Finally... an announcement...

In September 2004 we arrived in New Zealand with nothing more than 6 suitcases (yes, we were completely over our luggage allowance), a camera bag, a backpack, a baby bag, a stuffed toy dog, a toddler car seat, a stroller and a very squirmy 14 month old.  And of course our hopes and dreams.  The start of a new adventure.  We didn't have jobs and the first 3 weeks Terence spent all his time applying for jobs and once he got a job offer, it was time to apply for work permits and not long after residency and within 6 months we had verbal approval that we would be allowed to become residents.  Looking back I thought, wow, if we could get through that and survive that, then surely we could handle anything...

In 2007, we had new goals in place.  We thought that would be the year to finally look at buying a house, we felt settled in Wellington, Terence had a great job and things were going well.  I even found my dream job that was going to open loads of doors for me... and then 2 days later Bianca was in hospital and all our dreams and goals and ideas got put on hold.  And for the next 830 days (about) that was all we could focus on - a 4 year old with leukemia and a then 3 month old baby with her own needs.  And it took a long time to actually start feeling normal again. 

It has been about 18 months since Bianca finished treatment.  Since she planted her tree in Auckland and finally we are ready for our next adventure.  And looking back - we got through immigration, we got through leukemia and if we could get through all of that and remain standing - then we could most definitely handle anything life might throw at us. 

So now I would like to introduce you to Cobalt Chrome Limited.  We started this company and we are so excited even though we know that the road ahead will no doubt be very challenging at times.  But we feel ready for it.  I cannot discuss our ideas in full detail just yet, except to say that Cobalt Chrome Limited is a software development and consulting company.  At your service...

Monday, March 28, 2011

The waiting game...

So far being without Facebook during the day has been good.  It's been feeling "free" and certainly manageable.  I still go on for a bit at night, but only after 9pm and only for a short period of night.  If all goes according to our plans I will have to use it a bit more later on, but for now, it is good. 

I have been spending quite a bit of time with planning, and researching and working on what we are hoping will be our new adventure.  And we are at the point now where we are waiting... waiting... waiting... for something that will hopefully arrive early this week. 

And I'm not good at waiting.  I'm really, really, really impatient.  That was one of the most frustrating parts of Bianca's leukemia treatment.  You are forever waiting for things to happen.  Waiting for test results, waiting to see the doctor, waiting to go to theatre, waiting to be admitted, waiting to be discharged, waiting for counts to come up. I actually wish that I recorded from the start the actual amount of time we just spent waiting. 

So once again, I'm waiting.  But it has nothing to do with Bianca's health or checkups or anything to do with leukemia.  I can't quite go into detail just yet, but hopefully really really soon! :-)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Decisions...

After Bianca was diagnosed with leukemia, the one thing we really really wanted and asked for was that people stay in touch with their normal news.  When you hear the words "your child has leukemia" your whole world comes crashing down around you and time comes to a standstill.  In an instant, all the plans you've made, all the ideas and goals you've had - have to be put aside and your life starts revolving around taking temperatures, reading treatment protocol documents, hospital checkups, chemo, side-effects, steroids, more chemo, more checkups, and..., and..., and...  And it must be the loneliest, most isolated and exhausting thing we've ever done.  And it wasn't just a few weeks, or a few months, no, it turned out almost 2.5 years (or around 830 days) - the first 6 months even going to the shops with Bianca was something that required careful planning because if her levels were just a bit too low - forget it...  And she had so many infections resulting in around 117 days where she stayed at the hospital overnight. 

Unfortunately for us, apart from my mum and one or two others, we never really had much support.  That request of "please keep in touch with your normal news" was completely ignored and it has been years since we heard from some.  The telephone didn't ring, we got regular emails from my mum, but not a word from many others,  I was even once told by somebody "well it seems as if you are coping, if you didn't cope, then I would be able to support you". 

Initially my blog was my lifeline.  A place where I could write about what was happening and through my blog I found an international community all walking the same journey.  And somewhere along the line, I got a Facebook request to join Facebook.  I was sceptical at first - why would I want to use Facebook?  And slowly but surely I got drawn in.  Facebook turned out to be the normal that we were looking for.  The link to the "outside" world - outside and away from the leukemia world.  A place where you could get news about what others were up to, perhaps see their photos.  We didn't feel so excluded as we've felt after our request to "please stay in touch" was so completely ignored.

And so yes, I must be honest that since that invitation I slowly but surely got "sucked" into the Facebook world - it has been something I have spent an awful amount of time with.  At the time it was what I needed, but now that life has mostly returned to normal, it is time for me to take a step back and spend less time with this.

The problem with Facebook is that it is so incredibly addictive and before you know it, it is a habit.  Where your fingers automatically type "Facebook.com" when you go onto the internet.  So I've made the decision that from this moment I will spend much much less time on Facebook.  And so Terence has effectively blocked Facebook at home and we will now be able to spend only a limited amount of time each night and no more. 

I think this was a good decision, considering we have a few goals and ideas we are working on that will require more focus and which I will share with you a bit later on.

In some ways the internet and things like Facebook has certainly opened up a whole new world, bringing people and information closer regardless the distance and time difference, but in other ways, I try to remember how we coped without all of this when I was much younger.  I actually miss some of those days...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Busy times...

Wow, I have really been quite slack in updating here.  It just seems that time is going so fast and I can hardly believe we are in the middle of March already.  Even though most days it is still fairly warm, it is definitely cooler in the mornings and still dark when we wake up.  A reminder that winter is on its way...

Things here are busy.  Bianca is back in the swing of things at One Day School (although we are thinking that next term she'll skip this).  She was chosen as a school council representative and we are so proud of her.  7 and she has her first leadership position :-).  And then Bianca does gymnastics on Mondays and cheerleading on Saturdays (yes, proper cheerleading as you may have seen in movies)...


Caitlyn does ballet on a Saturday morning and from next week will do gymnastics with her daycare class.  She loves being in the "get ready for school" class and is showing an interest in learning to write her name and drawing lots and lots of faces.  Recently I had to take Caitlyn for her 4 year old immunisations (2 injections - 1 in each arm).  I explained to her what was going to happen, but I must be honest I dreaded it.  The first one was okay, the second pretty sore and she cried quite a bit.  It was at that point that it brought back a lot of memories of some of the things Bianca had to endure during her leukemia treatment.  But thankfully the tears stopped really quickly (because the promise of ice cream can make anything better).

Terence and I are working on an idea that hopefully will create some exciting opportunities for us.  Can't reveal much at this stage, but soon.  Really soon...