The other part of Marcia's post was all about friendships. And right now I have to be honest I am struggling with the realisation that once again I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of. I hate that it happens. And even more so I hate myself for letting it happen. And even more so I hate that they think I am too stupid to see what is happening. And so they keep pretending (whenever it suits them) and the rest of the time I don't exist.
Unfortunately a few times in my life I've also had some really toxic and negative friendships.
This is not really how I do friendships.
For me a friendship is give and take. It is somebody who can simply just let you be. I wrote about it here. I've never been super popular with loads of friends. Instead, I've always had a few close friends. People I knew I could trust. People who accepted me just the way I am. Typically it takes me a while before I truly trust somebody enough to consider them a friend, but when I do, then you'll know I am extremely loyal to you.
And for me friendships aren't only chosen based on age or gender. I've had a good range of friends, some younger than me, some older. And yes, I've even had some really good male friends. Through the years our friendships have changed a bit. When we moved, some of the friends we had stopped talking to us. Then when Bianca was diagnosed with leukemia most of the friends we had at the time (in and outside of New Zealand) stopped talking to us. I sometimes read on some of the forums how some parents can't get people to stop visiting or phoning and just give them a bit of space as they are dealing with their unwell child, but we were on the other side of the spectrum where we never heard from anybody. And this is where blogging was really good for us. I have made some really good blogging friendships over the years. We laughed with each other, cried with each other, celebrated and shared with each other. And sure in most cases we've never met and probably never will, but it does feel like we do know each other.
Right now we are incredibly blessed with a few really good in real life friends. Friends who you know you can count on. Whenever I hear this song, I think of these friends! And to these friends I say "thank you!"
