and so the end of May approaches very fast with only 1 more day left. To my surprise I wasn't as anxious as I thought I would normally be in May. Although I did glance at Caitlyn's legs this evening in the bath wondering why she had bruises. I know they are in all likelihood just from playing, but it is an automatic reaction questioning things like that. I don't think it will ever change.
In some respects it is hard to believe that in 5 days it will be 5 years since Bianca was diagnosed. Can it be 5 years already? It seems a bit unreal at the moment. Although at times the memories are vividly clear. Sometimes I look at her photos where she had no hair and it doesn't seem that it was really part of our lives.
Of course other times it hits me right in the face, but I look at her now and think, wow, what a long way we've all come.
Sometimes I wonder how we were strong enough to just keep standing, but I suppose a person is always strong when they need to be even when they don't feel all that strong. We didn't really have a choice. It was the only option available to us.