Yesterday, I have to be honest, I felt really stressed. Not about the Funrazor event itself because we have most things organised, but whether there will actually be other people there on the day (and I lost my number for Rent a Crowd...).
It is silly really because we'll be right in the middle of a busy shopping centre, at a time when lots of people will be out and about... But suddenly I had these visions of the 4 of us (Mike Begbie, Matt Carlin, Terence and me) sitting there ready to get our hair shaved, Paul and his singing group ready to entertain and Daizy Design Facepainters all ready to paint and not a single person in sight. You know when you see these movies and they show this ghost town with the tumbleweed rolling down the street and you can hear the wind howling around the corners of old buildings? That was the image that kept popping up in my mind. And I hate failure. Like in big time.
Two things are really my downfall - one is that I let my ideas grow too big. I can't just do something simple and small like normal people, and after our hospital visit I thought to myself "okay, that's it - I did my bit and I (hopefully) made a difference and that was my good deed for the year", but now? Now I'm back onto the next project. A big one this time! The other downfall is my fear of failure. It is what often holds me back taking chances, and when I do take a chance, then this fear drives me insane. It makes me over-analyse the situation, question myself over and over whether it will work out. And of course throw my perfectionism into the mix and I end up driving myself beyond the perfectly okay "it is good enough". For me it has to be perfect!
Am I sorry that I took on this big project? No. Supporting the Child Cancer Foundation is something I feel incredibly strong about. The Child Cancer Foundation became family when we suddenly found ourselves on a completely lonely and difficult journey. All our family are based overseas and nothing can ever prepare you to hear the words "your child has cancer". It is the one time in life you really wish not to be picked for the team. But we were picked. And in an instant our lives changed. Liked it or not, this was to become our new life. And if it was not for the support of the Child Cancer Foundation, I have no idea how we would have coped. So I feel really strongly about giving something back.
I am simply amazed at the amount of support we have received for this event so far. I feel incredibly blessed to know that there are so many who are trying to help make this a success. To help make a difference. There is Sarah who is helping me put this event together. There are our friends Matt and Mike who will also be shaving their hair along with Terence and myself. Both of them have been running around helping me organise spot prizes. There is Coastlands for letting us use space at the mall. Rodney Wayne will help us on the day. There is Paul who kindly offered to bring his guitar and is even trying to organise some of his students to join him. There is Paul's offer to donate $5 for every book / CD sold. There is Daizy Design Facepainting who will paint faces with all money raised donated to CCF. Gingersnaps Photography will be there to capture our day. And for every person who sponsored Mike, Matt and myself on our fundraising pages. And then all these companies who donated prizes to our event.
There are still prizes coming in that have been promised and that we are waiting to arrive. We're not quite there yet with the arrangements, but wow, I just feel so incredibly blessed! The support is simply amazing! Thank you!