Sunday, October 9, 2011

I really hate this!

The thing I hate the very most about things like Facebook and forums and so on is how people sometimes use it to deliberately hurt another.  It is almost like they think hiding behind their online presence gives you permission to treat another person like rubbish.  Now for most of it Facebook and forums and so on can be really useful.  It is a great way to connect with others.  It is a great way to stay in touch, but sadly some people just go a bit too far.

Recently as I was browsing through the latest news feed updates just to see what was happening, I saw a rather sad status update.  A husband who commented that his wife hated him.  Hmmm.  And of course suddenly all his contacts started commenting and responding - each one with his / her own opinion and in between his wife started responding too, her sister got involved, his mum started pleading with him, and so the accusations started.  His wife tried to get him to stop posting on Facebook. She kept apologising to the "audience", that he had a bit much to drink and so on and so on.  Let's just say that by the end of it they pretty much agreed to getting a divorce.  I only commented once and that was to say that I was sorry they seemed to be going through a rough time, that perhaps they needed to discuss with each other and to ask if he could please remove the status update.  Because really - this had nothing to do with any of us.  The next morning there was only one quick update from him.  To apologise for what he said.

And I wondered - how do you fix this?  How do you fix something after you practically destroyed another person? Humiliated them in front of a large audience?  How do you gather up the pieces after you shared it in such a very public setting? How do you take back what was said?

One thing I clearly saw on this day is that Facebook and alcohol really really don't mix!  I've seen people do some really stupid things after they had a couple of drinks, but put something like Facebook in the mix and I think it becomes a rather risky situation!


Paul said...

I totally agree with your sentiments. Facebook, blogging and other public forums should be used in a positive manner and never to hang out your dirty laundry. I am enjoying blogging about my personal successes and reflections. Once you post information about another person obviously it can't be retracted. Alcohol unfortunately can be a poisonous fuel for some and as you say a possible danger when combined with communicating with others.

blackhuff said...

You can't fix it. The only thing is to pray that the person you have hurt, will forgive you and if not, then hopefully it will be a big life lesson that was learned.
I agree, forums, groups and social networks sure is a place where people can hurt you but you also have to remember that when you decide to enter these places, that you have agreed to make yourself "open" to what other people will think, write or say about you. I do know the feeling of when someone hurts you via these sites. I have learned what that feels and I do not do it to anyone else.

Hayley said...

I've had the same experience with a friend and his wife on facebook, having an was so embarrasing, and I just felt so sorry for them.

Buttons said...

This is exactly why I do not have a Facebook account I have heard terrible things that can never be forgiven wrote on a post. Nasty stupid things. Family hurting family and all their 1000 (friends) to read. B